I have been praying and seeking God, about whether I should write something about what has been going on in our world today. I had to first get my feelings and facts straight. Seeking the Lord in this time has been difficult for me, mainly because I have so many personal feelings on the subject. So, I looked to the Lord for what is true. Writing this is not meant to offend or stir up arguments, it is simply to show the steps I have taken on this journey of learning about the issue of racism in our country and world.
Listen
You may be like I was, when the race conversation got awkward before in recent years, "I'll just stop reading here, and say I love all people."
What has changed this for me?
I had to start by listening. Listening to understand, and not just assuming I already know and understand. Not to argue or defend my current point of view. This is harder than I ever thought it would be, to really love my neighbor, not just when it is comfortable for me. I always considered myself a great listener, but I was not when it came to listening to viewpoints that contradicted my world view. I have listened to people that have experienced racial profiling and police brutality for many years. This is a very uncomfortable journey to take. I have felt personally attacked, felt like there is no right way to go, felt unsafe in situations recently with people on both sides of the table, and conflicted because of my loved ones that are affected by this subject.
These are feelings you might relate to. I cannot ignore what I am feeling around this issue, I must interpret them; be self-aware that something else is driving the defensiveness. But I do know this, the last couple of years of learning the truth about racism in our country and world has not been easy. This is a journey that I must take in order to be a bridge for racial reconciliation so as not to make the same mistakes we see in history. If learning about racism is unconformable for me, then I cannot imagine how it feels to experience it first hand.
For most of my life I have been influenced by many different types of people. People who use phrases such as, "He's black, but he is a good guy,” or, "I love black people, but they...." In the past, even I made comments like this. Comments like these are not something some may see as "bad," but this widespread acceptance comes from a world view of our black brothers and sisters being seen through a negative social lens. This is a taught mentality that comes from stereotyping a particular group of people, also known as racism or an unconscious bias.
Experiences will always help form our world views, but for me, coming from a place of white privilege, my world view is skewed. Yes, I just used those words, white privilege. Even though I grew up within a low income community, this is still true for me. I do not have to jump hoops to prove I'm a good guy in a job interview, I do not feel people get uncomfortable when I walk past them or enter the room, nor have I had the police called on me just because of the color of my skin in the wrong neighborhood.
I have listened to my friends of color, as they say how much these comments hurt them. After realizing the possible effects of this unconscious bias, I started watching myself in many different situations, my emotions and my reactions. I found that I often judged people and circumstances based on my unconscious bias.
I have seen what comments and pre-judgements like this can do to a belief system of a young boy. Often, it is understood that his identity as a black man means he will always be looked at with suspicion, will have to work twice as hard to prove himself, and feels like he cannot fully embrace his culture because of the image society portrays, all because he is black.
Life from Another’s Eyes
This year, while I was taking a few boys to Tuscaloosa for a basketball game, I witnessed this first hand. As soon as we pulled up at a restaurant to meet a friend, the boys noticed something: all the people in the restaurant were white. I heard fear in one of the boy’s voices as he asked, "At the game will there be any black people, Mr. Aaron?" I replied, “Yes, buddy" while slightly taken back with his observation. Once we parked near the arena, one of our boys, again, saw all white people walking to the game. He suddenly said, “I am not going to the game, I do not belong here."
After reassuring him he could go, he did end up relenting and had a great time. But, this does not change the fact that he was fearful because of his skin color and the stereotypes that come with it. I have always said that we can never argue with how people feel and looking at the situation, I cannot argue that this boy was afraid of being at the game.
Learn
Learning is an important and necessary part of this process for me. We can always learn from our personal point of view and experience, but I have learned that this is not enough to understand the picture, fully. We must also see the view of history from other perspectives, rather than just the one that may be most comfortable for us.
Here is a list of places that I have recently been learning from:
Websites:
Take the implicit bias test HERE.
Books:
A Sojourner’s Truth: Choosing Freedom and Courage in a Divided World by Natasha Sistrunk Robinson
The Color of Compromise by Jemar Tisby
The Myth of Equality: Uncovering the Roots of Injustice and Privilege by Ken Wytsma
Movies:
Just Mercy - currently free to stream on many platforms
Love
My next step in this journey was putting my newly found knowledge and realizations to action. Each one of us has a different role to play in reconciliation and change of the racial stigma in our world. My wife and I have a verse referenced on our wall which says, “For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.” (Galatians 5:13) This should not be understood as free in a physical sense, but free through the blood of Jesus Christ. Because we, as followers of Christ, are called to be an example of Him, we are called to serve one another in love. Through Christ’s example, our love should not be limited to people that look or think the same as we do, but rather to each and every person we come in contact with daily.
Love In Action
We can say that we love someone, but do we truly? This is something I had to ask myself while defining my role. My role may be different than yours, but we all have a similar calling. Biblical love can be defined as “unconditional partiality.” This means there are no limits. Living out this limitless love is difficult, but it is what we are called to do. Jesus said, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and all your mind’. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:37-39)
‘Neighbor’ is not simply a friend in your social circles, or a colleague at work. Through the parable of the Good Samaritan, we see Jesus' definition of a neighbor. Luke 10:36-37 says: “Jesus asked, ‘Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?’ He said, ‘The one showed him mercy.” And Jesus said to him, ‘You go, and do likewise.” When I looked at this parable again recently, I felt convicted of what true love should look like. Love is a physical and unconditional action that comes when you decide to listen and walk alongside a person, no matter where they come from.
1 John 3:18 “... let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.”
We are to make sure that we do not love from a distance and just in empty speech, but put action toward it. This does not simply mean serving in a community of predominantly black people or paying for the black persons’ meal at another table. This is a call to listen, to understand, to live life alongside others, and be in the trenches together. We are called to be the Church.
I urge you to prayerfully consider what your role will be in this path of racial reconciliation. Who are you called to walk beside? Who are you called to listen to?
We are all on a journey of understanding our thoughts and beliefs, but we must push forward to stand up for what is right, not for the sake of political correctness but for the sake of simply loving our neighbor.